How your sex life can be affected by poor body image?

Sex is a sacred activity. It brings two people closer not just physically but emotionally and spiritually too. It is supposed to make you feel safe and comfortable in your skin.

But what if you don’t feel that way?

Then it might be that you have a poor body image. As a result, it may be taking a toll on your sex life too.

Poor body image can lead to sex that is void of presence, intimacy, and true pleasure. It can also be to the extent that low sexual self-esteem develops and grows until sexual activity is completely avoided.

Below are some ways in which negative body image can affect your sex life.

1. It promotes low sexual self-esteem

We all know how low self-esteem can contribute to low confidence. When you’re uncomfortable with yourself, you may get nervous to speak in front of anyone. You might even run away from a task that you were planning to do.

And it’s the same for your physical self too. When you’re ashamed of your body, you get anxious. You think over and over again as to whether you’re ‘good enough’ or not. With those thoughts in mind, you could even avoid getting physically close together!

• I won’t be able to give my partner the pleasure they deserve.
• They’re seeing my body for the first time. What if they don’t find me sexy?
• There are marks on my body. So I don’t deserve to have a partner.

These are just some examples. The negative thoughts are different for everyone, but the end result is more or less the same.

2. It takes you away from the present

Are you always in the present or do you lose yourself to overthinking? Perhaps you don’t have low self-esteem in general. However it always seems to show up right before having sex?

You could feel like losing yourself in a spiral of pessimistic thoughts. That way, you’re never really present while having sex. Being mindful of your sexuality and sexual activity can help create a more fulfilling sex life.

Shift your focus from your thoughts to your senses whilst you’re having sex. Pay attention to how your body reacts to your partner’s.

3. It makes you feel shameful

You may develop feelings of guilt and shame that you carry with you wherever you go. These could stem from the pressure from not being good enough for your partner.

This low sense of self can also slip into other spheres of life. After all, sex goes beyond the physical self and into the realms of mental and emotional well-being too.

How to tackle negative body image self-talk

Where there’s a will, there’s a way. You can turn around every bit of negative thought that you have for your body.

• Self-awareness: Be clear about what you’re thinking. When you have power over your thoughts, they have little to no strength over you. This also means that you learn to identify what triggers your poor body image.

•Mindfulness: It is the act of staying in the present. It’s the practice of living in the environment, rather than your head.

•Positive affirmations during sex: Practice being kind to your body whilst having sex. The moment any bad thoughts come up, redirect it into something like, “I’m beautiful inside out.”

Do you wish to learn more about creating a positive body image? I’m Amy de Jesús and I’d love to help you become more confident and radiant, inside out. You deserve a happy and healthy sex life, so let’s get in touch.